Houston: Is my Vagina a Problem For You? On Women’s Biology and Cultural Control

enzaraPOPAs if it wasn’t bad enough, attacking women just for the symbolic category of being a woman, now the system, with a repressive twist against biology itself , is attacking the vagina, with its cycles and natural fluids included.

What’s going on with the vagina? Lately, advertising round the world seems to not want them. Haven’t you noticed? Now there’s one more reason for the system to make us feel something is wrong with us: We have vaginas.

As if it wasn’t bad enough,  the constant  media blitz against our right to be accepted as we are, without having to conform to a stereotype of height, weight, skin color, hair and eyes, the “C-Reactive” audiovisuals”- Yes, because what they’re doing is just feeding ‘Reaction Campaign’ against the emancipation of women.

Faludi dixit – now they want to ‘sell us the cookie’ that not only is it bad just being a woman, but that the cause of all our problems is having a vagina .

First of all, it’s not the same thing being a woman, as having a vagina. Being “Woman” is a symbolic category unrelated to appearance, gender, sex or sexuality. In the final analysis it’s a personal opinion. Traditionally, patriarchy has assigned the category “woman” in its most stereotypical, limiting and oppressive sense to members of the human species, classified as female according to their appreciable anatomical features, that is, the presence of the vagina .

The media and advertising industry has been selling us pre-packaged patriarchal ideology for a long time now: their strategy against women, is based on the idea that it is wrong to be as we are, that we really should change, that the consumption of certain products can make us more acceptable and above all, much more sexually attractive, which would ensure our success in life: being accepted by Men would ensure our financial and emotional stability and would grant us a place in the great ”Cycle of Life” as reproducers and procreaters – of the Patriarchy, obviously. Thus we would indeed also achieve prestige, and the status of Mother and Wife, so necessary to keep the meat grinding machine running.

It’s a curious thing how this logic works, and perverse to say the least : From the patriarchal mindset, the female has always been associated with nature, its maintenance and reproduction, because of the biological capacity of motherhood. On the contrary the Man is always seen to have  the right to obliterate or modify nature,  to operate machines and transform the environment. However, the industry of culture, run by men and where women are represented as objects, calls on us to denature the natural, to continue to maintain the system running. Appearing to be always 25 years and looking  like a Greek goddess three weeks after childbirth, for example, are totally unnatural mandates, but ones which  this ideology normalizes in its favor.

So we see that now it’s not enough, attacking women just for the symbolic category of being a woman. Now the system, with a repressive twist against biology itself , is attacking the vagina, with its cycles and natural fluids included.

1. – Meanwhile in India: “Your Vagina is NOT  WHITE ENOUGH, darling”

lighteninggelforsensitiLindi West wrote on the site Jezabel,, an amusing but revealing article, which destroys the ideology behind this commercial 0n India TV. In the video, the poor husband is very hurt and offended, because  his wife’s vagina is coffee coloured. Even seeing a cup of coffee gives him  nightmares, reminding him of the awful color of his wife’s vagina And she in her turn responds to his anti-vaginal depression by getting depressed herself.

Happily, she is intelligent and eager to fulfill their husband’s expectations, including sexual fantasies of white vaginas – in a country of brown people-. In the shower the product “Clean and Dry Intimate Wash”, is applied, promising to BLEACH the vagina and surrounding areas with one solo use and… Miracle! The brand new color of the wife’s vagina restores to her husband the will to live, and saves the marriage from divorce and ruin!

The Product Justification by the  C-Reactive advertisers is that “clear skin reflects the light better” to which  Lindi West responds ironically: “See? It all makes lots of sense. They just want our vaginas to reflect light better, can that be bad? For example, What if my car breaks down at night and I dont have a vagina bright enough to warn the other drivers? Well, maybe a vagina light could replace the fish that glow in the bottom of the sea … maybe I could use it to attract more shrimp and so my husband would approve of me again! “

2. – Repent Vagina Sinner!

 virgin maker kit

Virginity is an important requirement in Eastern culture. The Orientals value women who have not shared a bed with other men. So women, if they are not virgins, looking for ways to pretend that they are.

So no matter if before marrying you have lived your sexuality freely, having boyfriends and orgasms all over the place. You can repent and act as if “nothing at all ever happened here”, There are ways to help support the sexual confidence of your future husband in its rightful place, lest he feel diminished or embarrassed, knowing that you had a joyful happening between the sheets. It would not be right if you got treated as a whore, just for not fitting into his fantasies of control and domination over your body.

Among the methods is the “Virgin Maker” a device that is inserted into the vagina,  acting as an artificial hymen. When the device comes into contact with the male member, it squirts out a red liquid, simulating the blood of first time sex.

This device tells women that what’s really important about their sexuality, is what men think of it. As in many cultures, the man will only accept the woman’s sexuality if he is the first to penetrate her, and the woman must hide all traces of autonomy with regard to her orgasms. As if womens’ sexual desires only begin when we sign a piece of paper and get a certificate that permits us to enjoy our sexuality.

I wonder how many patriarchal males have been well fooled with the tricky ‘Virgin Maker’, believing themselves the first and reaffirming their masculinity due to a little bag of red ink. Ha! My vagina laughs and smacks her big and little lips at the thought of it!

In China there is controversy over the use of “virgin maker” because researchers have established that it could cause infections in the female reproductive system. Special offers have been removed, ads have been erazed from internet websites. They could take the opportunity to try and also eraze from people’s heads the myth that says virginity defines the qualities of women.

3. – Your Vagina needs a plumber


After menopause, the vagina isn’t considered a vagina any more, just a dripping tap. As there don’t exists plumbers to pinch the tube and seal off leakage of fluids, the solution is… ‘Poise’ Wipes.. designed for us,  specially to not be embarrassed by not having menstrual flow. So they problematize  further, the period of life when the woman can no longer bear children for the patriarchy.

Where before the vagina was a dilemma due to menstruation, forcing women of childbearing age to wear all kinds of motley devices, from traditional to high-tech, to conceal a natural fact of biology-now with menopause the tragedy is not menstruating but natural  flow. On top of all the stereotypes that paint women at or after menopause as hysterical, maniacal and non-orgasmic, due to a descent in our hormone levels, they’ve added the idea that the woman is an erratic ejection of urine and fluids, which must be neutralized with endless products, created especially to protect the public and make women feel safe in her “Maturity” (?) thanks to the wipes.

Beware decent citizens! Those women over 50 who do not use Poise can with just one blow, take out an eye with a deadly squirt of fluid spitting from their vaginas!

The truth is that our vaginas are not the problem, it is patriarchy that has a problem with our vaginas, as well as with “Woman” as a being, and the endless possibilities that this implies. As always, the ideology holds us accountable for all the things that only annoy the  Patriarchate. If we know already that finding the perfect woman is a sickening and impossible imposition – because there is no such woman,  and it will always be better to be a full entire woman than a perfect one-  let´s seek to achieve in this life the status of joyful enjoyable vagina, no matter how big , hairy or multicolor it may be because, obviously, the quest for ‘perfection’ will leave us something between the legs that will be anything but a healthy vagina.

Published for TheFreeOnline

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s