My Uncomfortable Position

It is my uncomfortable position not to be chosen to be:

The “Other half”

The perfect wife

The mother of his sons

The believer who leads him to heaven

It’s an awkward position, because there is noone there in which I can mirror on

Only my own reflection

There is no other that can define me

Only my own character and mission

No one can save me

I am the only one accountable for myself

Somewhere out there

There is a special place of punishment for women like me

Challenging authority with my ideas

Fierce in my desires

Straightforward in the expression my feelings

Fearless about my sexuality

Because we are educated to suffer loneliness

Not for using it in our own self-discovering

Because we have been told for centuries

That we are worthless without someone to make us:

His “other half”

A perfect wife

The mother of his children

A believer to lead him to heaven

It has been terrible for a woman like me

To be ejected from a system

Where she is meant to be tamed

Left to her own devices in the world

Alone with her own expectations

This have been very terrible…

Terrible as Freedom

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